Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I touched a dick in church today
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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