Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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