The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
