my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
