You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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