I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
