Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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