can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
