You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
