somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
