Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
