the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize