Don't you send me to vm
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize