apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
