P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize