Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
