im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
