Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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