Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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