I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
