My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
