I feel like I'm in dance class right now
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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