I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
