How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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