Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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