Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
