I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
