so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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