i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
