yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
