You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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