I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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