How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
