wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Randomize
