Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
