Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize