my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
