I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
