I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
