you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
