Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
