i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
