Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
