dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
