Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
