he wants to bone in the snuggie
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
This house was built for laser tag.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize