Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
