The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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