Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
