I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize