also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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