Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
