Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
