Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
