Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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