Your tits are I can't wait for
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
