Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
