This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
