My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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