i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
