who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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