Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
