I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
