The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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