She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
