I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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