I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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