I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
