the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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